By Doris Christopher

As a child, I was notorious for running away. Looking back, I know that God had other plans for my life. There is no other way to explain how I escaped being kidnapped or worse. There is no doubt in my mind that God’s protective covering was on my life.

As a young teen, I learned an awful truth and wondered if my running away was me searching for something or someone. Initially, I believed that search was a yearning for the biological father I never met. Later in my teens when my first child died due to a medical mishap, I stopped my searching for a season. During this time, I became bitter, angry, hurt, and unforgiving. My son’s death left me broken and uncaring for anything or anyone. I wanted nothing more than to be left alone to drown in my sorrow.

But my Lord continued to love me even when I was unlovable. My Lord never left me. He stayed by my side until I let go and let Him do a work in my life. I had a choice to fall into His loving arms or shut Him out of my life completely. I will never forget the day I stopped running from Him. My Lord scooped me up in His loving arms as my Heavenly Father and held me. For the first time in my life, I was truly set free of the burdens on my heart, mind, and soul.

I was no longer the ‘sin child’ my mother called me. I finally knew my search was over because my Heavenly Father loved me and had plans for my life. And I wanted to be the woman and mother, my firstborn son would be proud of as he looked down on me from heaven above. Jeremiah 29:11 became what I call my 911 verse:

“For I know the plans I have for you, plan to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

In those times when I used to shout out to God in anger and say, “Why did you take my firstborn son? Why would you do something like that? What kind of God would do that?” While I still don’t fully understand why my son had to die, I thank God that He loved me, a sinner, so much that He would send his son to die for me.

When I meet people, they often refer to me as “sweet.” Only God could change these bitter waters which once raged within me to soothing waters of peace, love, and joy. My firstborn son, Mommy loves you and misses you. I pray that I have become the mommy you are proud to call your own.

Doris Christopher

Doris Christopher is a retired university professor and administrator. She has written or contributed to many books and journal articles, in both the educational arena as well as the literary marketplace. She enjoys traveling and has credited those trips with the inspiration for what she writes. She also keeps busy traveling on mission trips and serving on the Assemblies of God U.S. Missions board, as well as volunteering in her local church. She lived in many states and has used those experiences as backdrops for the fiction books she has written. She lives in Griffin, Georgia with her husband and three furbabies. She considers this stage of her life the best yet because it affords her the freedom and opportunity to share her story with audiences all over the world.

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